For Ray

Writing is a better way for collecting my thoughts. I hope this doesn't sounds like preaching.

Life is full of challenges. It's a waste that everyone has to start with a blank sheet. Each generation have to learn the same lessons, make the same mistakes. What life taught me can't be passed to you easily. Not only they can't be passed on, it's also so much to pass on from one generation to the next.

On the other hand, life would be boring if you knew everything from birth. Maybe mistakes have to be made so that we are not bored to death. 

Everyone walks ones own path, experiences what one needs to experience. No one is able to take your place. When you need help, I bet you that you will always find them. I have found mine when I needed them, from books, videos, and people. 

I am hoping that this post is one of those helps, and a place we can all revisit.

Here are a few things worth mentioning. You may already know. 

What matters? 

Only a few things truly matter. Everything else is noise.

What matters to me is different to what matters to you. Find yours. It's going clear your mind so much once you know what matters to you.

When facing a challenge, it's the same, find out what matters, usually only a few things truly matter, what's next will be easy.

When it about your longer goal, it's even more helpful. You can spent sometime figure it out. Once you have them, life is easy. You path will be clear if you know what matters to you. Since you know the direction. 

Keep observing

Observing and collecting information. Observe and do not judge. Avoid bias, prejudice, avoid jump into conclusion. The more you can tell which part or your mind is discriminating, the clear you can see. That's what science is about. Collecting data and find out the model to explain the data.

For any subject, if you keep observing in this way, after a while your will come to a point, some call them insights.

For example, you want to know what matters to you. You can keep track of what your mind kept doing. What you spent most time on. When you have a good time. Once you have a good amount info, the answer would be clear.

The example is simplified. Often you will need to ask 2 or 3 more layers of questions. That's when you get the real answer.

I learned this from observing mind. Which is a good subject. You have seen the suggestions: know yourself, or know your mind. Which sounds simple. It would be sad to live a life completely not aware of what they are doing or thinking. 

The capability of observing without bias, it lets you discover the rest. You can learn more about this: mindfulness, Taoism, insight meditation, and Vipassana. I know two small books. It is concise. "Don't look down on the defilements" by Ashin Tejaniya. Or this one, a free book: "Buddha in Blue Jeans" by Tai Sheridan is also a good one. [find it on iTune, or Amazon ]

Thinking tools

When it matters, think with pen and paper.

You can write down your thoughts, or make list. Brain functions more like a "processor". It's good at processing info. It takes one type of info and converts to another type. To me, our head is bad at remembering. Most people can only hold a few things in their head. To remember a bigger number of things, you need external storage, often be paper, to help you process the the facts that you need to consider. 

Other methods that I have enjoyed:

"web" - you learned that when you were at your elementary school. I find "mind map" is over rated. You can have a look at that. It didn't appeal to me much. I find colouring and fancy drawing cost more than the benefit it brings.

"Causal map" - You saw its work a few times. You, mom and I used that to decide whether we should move to Victoria a few years ago. I hope this didn't leave you a bad impression. 

"Use notebook" - Some call it journal. Use pen & paper, don't rely on apps on your computers or cellphone. Hand writing works the best for number of reasons. I will not go into this. You can find articles online on this subject easily.

Creative ideas, discoveries, or innovations  often happen when your mind wonders. You connect dots when your mind is free, not occupied by the flood of social media, tweets, facebook likes, or movies. Constant connected to the net, it keeps your mind busy, it entertains you but also leaves you no time for anything that matters to you. Creating and building something to me is the most rewarding things to do. 

Keep reading

I hope this is the only "you should" items here. I am talking about non-fictions. Although fiction books serves its purpose too, since human making sense of things through stories. If you like to be friends with people without time and location limit, read their books. 

When you have a question, I am sure someone else had them too in the past. Some may even wrote about it.

Things good to know

Learning is a skill.
Decision making is a skill.
There is alway a way. When you facing problems, or difficulties, there are alway solutions. 

At last

Life is an experiment. You decide what to experience. You are the one to answer "what should I do?".

Life can be hard and messy. It's mostly like learning piano, it takes years to get better. It takes patient, and perseverance. Without the hard work, life would not bring you the kind of fulfillment and joy that last. 

Life can be anything, it may not be everything, but it can be something if you work towards it.

Mama and I am proud of who you are. You have such a good intention, full of compassion. You have the patient and perseverance to go after your goals. I know your life will be great. Wish you the best, find your joy and have a good life. I hope you find peace and comfort in your life.